why did the chicken cross the road?

eXtreme Challenge #12: walk towards your future 

Ever wonder what is on the other side?  Why did the chicken cross?  Must of been something worth while on the other side.  

Many of you asked what the eXtreme 2015 is all about.  Why am I doing it?  What is it for?Who else is doing it?  I thought I might answer some of these questions with a simple word - CHANGE. 

Ahh change - it is inevitable, our lives will change.  it happens constantly.  Change tends to work in our favor.  So why are we so afraid of it?  Why do we grip tightly to the steering wheel of the past, wallow in the minutia of the present and lazily daydream for the future.  It comes from our fear of change.  We become lazy with the status-quo and thus want to maintain it - even if it is not the right fit for us. 

eXtreme 2015 is all about embracing change.  Giving it a warm hug.  Saying, "welcome home".  It is a mindful, conscience choice to change your life. It is about saying YES even when that fear inside of you tries to hold you back.  It is about telling yourself that you have to key to unlocking ANY adventure that greets you.  You are an amazing ball of energy that is always evolving so don't get in your own way.  Evolve with it.  MOVE.  And see what amazing things you do in 2015!  

How have you changed your life in 2015?  What is one thing that you can do differently (big or small) today to improve your life?  

(C'mon) Get Happy!!

eXtreme challenge 11: take the happiness challenge

A couple of weeks ago I did something that is on my top 10 list of things that make me happy.  I hung out with a new mommy friend, learned more about life and in turn, learned more about the human psyche as a whole.  As this is one of my top "happy things" - that night got me thinking about the state of joy and bliss... What is the pursuit of happiness all about?

Exactly a year ago I took some time to explore this further - the pursuit of happiness.  When I was younger I always felt that this phrase was a bit silly.  It was black and white to me - either you are happy, or you are not.  Being happy was not something that you needed to seek out.  To me it was just the natural state of mind.  A year ago I would of said the same until one day I was driving and realized that I have a bad case of road rage.  I can admit this now, but at the time I thought - "why would I have road rage?  I love driving. It is relaxing, boundless, invigorating, exci-----errr---- wait, what am I saying? I love driving on long road trips - not in this bumper to bumper urban wasteland." And this is where it hit me.  Maybe happiness could rely on your immediate situation, place in life - maybe it was something that at times could be pursued.

I started to investigate happiness.  I looked up definitions from Rhodes Scholars to Forbes submissions to song writers.  I was looking for everyone's input on the subject.  I asked friends, family, cab drivers - what made them happy in life, marriage, love, play,etc.  The focus group results were all over the board and if anything the only common themes that I could piece together were: people, love and letting go.  At least one and especially all three, would bring nothing but sheer bliss.

Seems pretty simple right?

Well this is where the pursuit comes into play.  Maintaining great people in your life, discovering love and selfishly letting go are not as easy as one might think.  And then I came across it.  The Happiness Challenge.

The Happiness Challenge is 5 key steps to do daily to increase our experience of happiness.

The Happiness Challenge

Do these steps for 21 days, and you will begin to see a lasting shift in your mindset towards more positivity.  

1) Bring gratitude to mind – Write down three NEW things that you are grateful for each day

2) Journal – About a positive experience you've had recently for 2 minutes once a day

3) Exercise – Engage in 15 minutes of mindful cardio activity

4) Meditate – Watch your breath go in and out for 2 minutes a day and

5) Engage in a random, conscious act of kindness – Write a 2-minute positive email thanking a friend or colleague, or compliment someone you admire on social media

I completed the happiness challenge last April.  The experience was uplifting, eye opening and while I didn't really cure my road rage issues, the gratitude and keeping a journal helped me to find that there are some fundamentals things that make me happy. My top 10 happy things are shared below.  The goal is to find ways to keep these things in my life.  Do them often. It is necessary.

Take the Happiness Challenge and share what you've learned.  Tell me the top 10 happy things that bring you pure bliss.


My Top 10 Happy Things
10.Solving problems, finding solutions
9. Swimming/floating underwater
8. Laughing so hard my belly hurts
7. Getting a massage
6. Hosting parties (Breakfast at Tiffany's, yo!)
5. Enjoy LIFE: Sleep in the sun, look up at the stars, stop to smell the roses, and of course wine
4. Singing on stage
3. Helping others
2. Traveling to a new city and doing something I have never done before
1. Enjoying my family and friends

Cheers!

Pucker up, ladies

eXtreme Challenge #10: don't be afraid to wear red (lipstick)


So bold lips have never been my thang, but in light of going eXtreme I've embraced the trend for a couple months now and it has rocked my beauty world. In one swipe you can transform your entire look -  One min sweaty gym rat. The next minute hot yoga momma.

The lipstick has given me some much needed pep in my step. No wonder why it is a staple in any glamorous woman over 55.

Whip out the sticks girls. Pucker up.  Bold lips are not just for ladies of the night... Work it! Own it!

Feel free to share your bold lip pics too!

ditch the rules and just play

eXtreme Challenge #9: find some unexpected time to be a kid again

Rules.  I never have been a fan of rules.  "Be home by 10pm."  "15 items or less."  "Don't wear white after Labor Day." They all get a huge sigh and eye roll drone me.

Now I understand that there are rules in place to keep us safe, and maintain law and order, but others are just plain silly.  And some we just don't know why we do them - we do it just because someone told us not to.  Think, drinking milk from a half gallon jug.  What is really the harm?  I personally buy an additional one just so that my husband and son can have at it.  Why?  Because it is fun.  It makes them happy.  It is one way to bring a sense of play into their lives.  This example brings up a good point.  Why at one point did it seem wrong to break this silly rule?  Because it was some rule that I heard when I was growing up and held onto it.

So in 2015 I am committing to making sure to take a good look at some of our rules and subitutie them with play.

When Storm was little I used to take him with me to the store and avoid the toy isle.  I thought it would help in the long run as I didnt want to buy a toy eveytime we visit Target.  I also viewd it as a waste of time as we had other destinations to get to and wanted to make sure our day was not taken up by the Target run.  A few months ago I really started to look at this in a different light.  Seeing how happy the simple act of going up and down the aisles made my son really changed my outlook.  This IS the destination.  Playing is the goal.  Target is now a family outing.  An event.  We treat target like a museum.  This doesn't mean he gets a toy everythime, just like when going to a museum you don't get to take any of the artifacts home.  It allows him to have fun with his mom and no cost to me.  Just spending pure quality time with him is enough for him.  It brings him more than any toy ever would.

Bliss.

indulge in the art of being lazy

eXterme Challenge #8: ask yourself if you know how to truly relax

Ahh relaxing. It is one of my favorite things to do. Cozy up on the couch, stay indoors, get a massage, meditate and stretch- I love it all! But I find it comes with a abundance of guilt. Like a small annoying dog yapping at my feet, I hear an inner voice that tells me to "get up"... "Do something"... "What is next" ... "You have a bunch of other things you SHOULD be doing".  This annoying voice in some instances can be extremely helpful. I get all sorts of things done on a weekend.  It pushes me and now my family to go go go which creates great fun and amazing memories.  However, as I get older I realize that I am cheating on my great relationship with relaxation by also dating my thoughts at the same time.

Yogis say that the secret to meditation is to allow free flow of thoughts.  Don't hold on - just let them go.  One in, one out. For me this is near impossible. At a recent massage I began mentally putting together my packing list for a trip three weeks away.  It then occurred to me - I have a hard time letting go.

Part of this is because of the negative connotations that go along with relaxing.  Think about it.  Look at how we view relaxing in this country.  We even refer to it with the flippantcy  of  a torrid affair; bum around, couch potato, lazy bones, and so on. So why so much shame?  Why the guilt?

And then I found it.  The key to being faithful to relaxation.  HYGGE

Hygge is the idea that helps Denmark regularly rate as one of the happiest countries in the world.  I have been fascinated for years at the happiness of Danes.  Despite long, dark winters they are still the happiest and part of that is due to Hygge. Loosely translated at "togetherness," and "coziness," though it's not a physical state, it's a mental one. This Danish NPR commenter sums up some specifics: "Hygge is a deep sense of cosy that can originate from many different sources. According to VisitDenmark (the country's official tourism site): "The warm glow of candlelight is hygge. Friends and family — that’s hygge too. And let’s not forget the eating and drinking — preferably sitting around the table for hours on end discussing the big and small things in life." Hygge's high season is winter, and Christmas lights, candles galore, and other manifestations of warmth and light, including warm alcoholic beverages, are key to the concept.

Hygge gives a more pleasing name, a voice to relaxing. It gives permission to do all of the things that I enjoy doing and diminishes the yapping dog telling me I should be more productive.  Hygge IS productive. It rejuvenates us. It allows us to enjoy the slow life.  The important things. 

As you go into your weekend I challenge you to indulge in Hygge. And if you are like me, maybe this time you can really let go. 

take life one step at a time

eXtreme Challenge # 7: for one week, take the stairs when given the choice

The stairs. I work on the eight floor of an office building and our IT help desk is on the third floor. For fun (or sheer torture) I take the stairs the five flights from time to time. Today I did the same but thought to myself hat this would make a great challenge. I live on the fifth floor. I go to the movies and target all with the choice of elevator, escalator or stairs. Why not challenge myself and all of you to a one week stair challenge. Let's all take it one step at a time. Please report back. Would love to hear how many flights you completed.

find your own bliss

eXtreme Challenge #6: discover something that brings you bliss and do it often

Today I was having a discussion with some family members about different types of vacations.  My aunt loves Vegas because for her a vacation is all about having a variety of things to do. My hubby's idea of a perfect vacation would be exploring a European city. And for me it is all about warm weather.  Relaxing in the sun, a few activities and a good drink. This truly is my happy place. I can close my eyes right now and hear the ocean waves. Bliss.

The problem is that I am not surrounded by sun and Palm trees. Rather I am looking out the window at the never ending snow staring at the long overdue to take down Christmas tree in our living room. And that is when it hit me. I need to feel that bliss. But jetting off to some island is not an option today and I don't have mother nature's number or I would ring her and tell her to lay off.

So instead I tried to think what are the other things in my life that give me the same type of joy and peace of mind: and then it came to me. My weekly massage. The dedicated hour just for me, my thoughts and mindful breathing (the closest thing I get to meditation). It is for me pure bliss. Joy that I really can't explain. I walk away from it each time feeling like I just went on a mini vacation.

There are many other ways to feel that same type of joy- snuggling with your loved ones, having a perfectly clean kitchen, sleeping past your alarm, sky diving - whatever it is for you, find IT and do IT often.  Life's too short to not enjoy your own kinda sunshine!

drink your vegetables

eXtreme Challenge #5: for one week replace one meal with a green juice/ smoothie.

I never thought I wouldsay have his but- I am addicted to chlorophyll.  Yes that lovely element that gives plants it green color. Completely addicted.  I won't take the time to list all of the benefits of these drinks as you can do a quick Google search.  But what I will say is simply give it a try and you too will become addicted. ( I sound like a pusher)

Regardless of how I sound, start the replacement today if you haven't already and share your experience.

Happy juicing!

don't cry over spilt milk (and other life accidents)

eXtreme Challenge #4: look at a problem through a child's lens.

I am a bit behind on my post but was stopped in my tracks literally last night when a lady was driving in a hurry to pick up her son from daycare.  Her lack of time management resulted in her crashing into my passenger side door. I don't know that I have been more scared in my life especially since my son was in the car. Seeing a car come at you like that gives you 3-4 seconds of clarity about life and what is important.  Mom and son are fine thanks to my trusty German engineered auto (I've said it before on Facebook - it is the safest thing around-if you are in the market for a car please reach out) but as she hit me I noticed something.  I screamed STOP while my son was not phased by the whole thing. I was scared, angry, annoyed. This woman on her phone took away my time.  It was cold. I love my car that was now ruined.  We have to now take it in. I was hungry. Blah blah - the list goes on.  But my son. He only cares about the real stuff. We were not hurt. Hardly felt anything. Mom was not crying.  So what is the issue. Life was, for him, OK. It was just spilt milk momma.

And it is OK.  Better than OK. It is divine.


I once read that the two people in car accidents are energy forces that are a like and attract. The book suggests that in some way you wanted the accident to happen. Can't remember the book, and not sure I believe that and I sure know I didn't want to be in a car accident with my son in the car ever!  But I do believe the Universe rises up to meet you and feel the accident was there to teach me that all of the day to day stuff really doesn't matter. My son helped me to see that. And I walked away from it with peace.

In the police station my son did start to get fussy and I asked what's the matter: "MOM - I gotta go potty!"  And there you have it. That is worth crying over!

cheers, I'll drink to that

eXtreme Challenge #3: ask "what do you recommend" and order that

I am not very far into eXtreme 2015 and realize that to challenge is committing (every day) to being open.  I also quickly realize that one lesson that is revealing itself is to let life happen and let it go ( I will refrain from a Frozen reference here).

So last night was a night out with the girls and in the spirit of adventure I let others around me select elements of the night:

The movie - we saw the Imitation Game which I didn't know anything about before seeing and it was phenomenal. The kind of movie where people clap at the end.

The mode of transportation - my girlfriend insisted we walk the four blocks from the theater to dinner in the bitter cold is Lake Michigan winds even when one of us was without our coat. The walk turned out to be a great way to connect.

The drink- when we got to the restaurant it was clear on their menu that they specialized in signature cocktails. So I asked the waiter "what do you recommend?".  He quickly responded with "EL FALS-O-GRONI!"  I look at the menu and didn't recognize any of the drink's contents: El Buho Mezcal, Cocchi di Torino, Cynar
I then hesitated. Wanting to go for something safe, something familiar, something easy, something comfortable, I then remembered the promise I made to myself to step out of that four-sided box and said "Yes, I'll have that!".  Turned out to be a great drink. Who knew! I would never know if I didn't try and that's the point.

So raise your glasses high and say "Yes" to life.

don't look before you leap

Challenge 2:  complete a workout routine that is anything but routine for you.  

I was looking for an adrenaline rush. Something to kickstart the year off right when I came across AIRobics- a class at my local trampoline park. Normally I might not give taking the class any thought, but as  I was approaching eXtreme I figured it was a sign, a test to see if I was really on board with pushing myself. So even though no one else was available to go- off I went. 

When I got there I saw the massive trampoline and thought to myself - I am so klutzy, this can't be a good idea, but I went for it anyway. It was euphoric. The type of energy you only receive from jumping. I think back to all the times I've jumped: as a high school cheerleader, skydiving, playing dance dance revolution at an arcade and now AIRobics. They all deliver the same feeling, the same excitement. So THIs is why my son jumps around all the time, or the first thing a pro athlete does when the make a goal or win the game is jump. It is pure bliss.

And that is when it hit me.  When you have a bit of doubt and a bit of fear, that is when you should leap (or in my case jump). A bit of fear means it is new and fresh and shakes up your comfort zone.  It means you are evolving.  If you wait til all that subsides- you will realize the opportunity has passed and you are still standing on the edge.  I am not the only one who has ever had this view point.  The world tells you to: jump right in, jump for my love, jump for joy, jump to it.

So even if you don't try AIRobics, challenge your body to a new form of movement whatever that means for you. And the next time someone says "Jump!" Simply say "How high?!".  

the universe rises up to meet you

New year, new blog:

I haven't been much of a blogger for years, but 2015 brings a much needed revival of the site. 

Why a blog you ask? 

At the begining of 2009 I started this blog to document my incredible month long journey to South Africa. It was the last huge trip I took in my life as a singleton (think Carrie Bradshaw, Brigette Jones or Hannah Horvath).  Less than a half of a year later the boy (think Big, Mr. Darcy, or Adam) came into my life.  It has been a Kansas-like whirlwind of adventure ever since of love, family, life and career.  But, not much time to reflect and blog about the adventure. 

Last year was "2014: our year of adventure" for me and my family.  We stepped out of the 3 year baby bubble we were in.  You know the type of grounding hybernation that happens when you have a newborn.  Our adventures added so much energy and boundless fun that I decided to continue it this year in 2015 and take it to the extreme. Challenge myself and others to step out of the comfort zone and do new things each day.  My hope is to inspire others to shake the hand of the universe when it rises to meet you and say "yes" to all that life offers. This is the purpose of eXtreme 2015.  Are you ready?...

Challenge #1: plan a trip to somewhere you haven't been before and commit to going. It is funny how a new route to work, new bookstore or a new city can provide a fresh perspective to the lens you see the world with.